i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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