but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
