So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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