brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
