Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
