Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
