apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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