i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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