Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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