I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
