And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
