drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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