Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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