OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
