I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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