Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
