Small penises have feelings too.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
