Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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