the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
