Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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