This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
