my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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