Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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