She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
