she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
