dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
