If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
