i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
