he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
