The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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