My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She even gives head with a lisp.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
