so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
