brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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