There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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