I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
