that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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