you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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