I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
