i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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