Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
