he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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