It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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