Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
