You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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