There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
