Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
