i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
they need to just BURY HIM!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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