Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I didn't notice because vodka
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
