Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I can't turn off my feet"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
