you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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